http://twitter.com/#!/bethanyshondark/status/197070902016483329

You really can’t make stuff like this up. Over the weekend,  Mei Xiang and Tian Tian had the chance to do things the ol’ fashioned way at the National Zoo. Apparently a little Barry White and a bottle of wine didn’t do the trick:

“They had a chance to breed naturally yesterday,” Renick-Mayer said. “They did not succeed.”

Sigh. Missed connections.

But all is not lost for Mei Xiang: today the zoo live tweeted her artificial insemination procedure.

We're keeping Mei elevated for 10 minutes. We used 10 straws of sperm. #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

Female giant pandas can only breed during a short 24-72 hour window each year. #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

We’ve been monitoring Mei’s hormones and watching the panda behavior for months now to determine the best time for an AI. #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

When I got the phone call that now’s the time, I dropped everything to get to the Zoo, just like everyone else here! #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

This is a big moment for us! If what happened in the last few minutes takes, we could have a panda cub here this summer! #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

This is the 8th year we’ve artificially inseminated Mei Xiang. #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

It’s done! The keepers, vets and researchers had to move fast to carry her! But here they are! #pandaAI pic.twitter.com/QJVKVMXw

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

It’ll take some time for the anesthesia to wear off, but she’ll come around pretty quickly. I'll see about getting a pic! #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

Mei did great and there’s a sense of celebration and accomplishment in the air here! #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

Pandas experience delayed implantation, which means the embryo doesn’t latch onto the uterine wall immediately. #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

Pandas experience delayed implantation, which means the embryo doesn’t latch onto the uterine wall immediately. #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

We’ll know later this summer whether she’s pregnant or if she experiences a pseudo, or fake, pregnancy. #pandaAI

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

And here's our slightly groggy, black-and-white rock star in recovery! #pandaAI pic.twitter.com/a1FAPJfh

— National Zoo (@NationalZoo) April 30, 2012

The Twitterverse was fascinated and a little horrified, but above all, amused:

Fake my own death and move into the National Zoo Panda House.

— Newt Gingrich Ideas (@GingrichIdeas) April 30, 2012

Talk about drinking your milkshake. RT @NationalZoo: We're keeping Mei elevated for 10 minutes. We used 10 straws of sperm. #pandaAI

— Peter Suderman (@petersuderman) April 30, 2012

All the single pandas! RT @anamariecox: And still no ring. MT @NationalZoo:Is the 8th year we’ve artificially inseminated Mei Xiang #pandaAI

— Rebellious Val (@RebelliousVal) April 30, 2012

Twitter gone wild? @NationalZoo is live tweeting the insemination of a panda.

— R. Stassen-Berger (@RachelSB) April 30, 2012

I nominate @NationalZoo for @shortyawards in "panda artificial insemination livetweets."

— Eric Reif (@esreif) April 30, 2012

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/04/30/bow-chicka-panda/