Ace celebrates Meghan McCain’s struggle to let young people ‘have news’
http://twitter.com/#!/AceofSpadesHQ/status/317056087897563136
It doesn’t even premiere until summer, and we’re already learning things from Meghan McCain’s new talk show on Pivot. It’s news to us, for one, that there is (or will be) a cable channel called Pivot. Don’t blame us for missing that news tidbit; it’s not so easy for young hipsters like ourselves to keep up with the news these days. Like McCain told media buyers at the unveiling of her show, “We’re told … that young people can’t have news because we’re just tweeting all the time, and that’s just bullshit.”
Ace of Spades, for one, is relieved that young people will finally have access to news thanks to McCain.
Everywhere I go, people tell me the same thing: Young people can’t have news because they’re just tweeting all the time.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
The other day, someone said, “Ace, can young people have news?” And, says I, “No, because they’re just tweeting all the time. Google it.”
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
If you young people want to have news, I’ll tell you what you need to do: You need to just stop tweeting all the time, that’s what.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
“Young people can’t have news.” — Mahatma Ghandi
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
“Because they’re just tweeting all the time.” — Kirkegaard, in reply to a letter from Gandhi
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
It’s crazy. Young people having news?Why, it’s like dogs walking people.And with their just tweeting all the time?It’ll never happen.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
The Bible doesn’t say nothing about young people having news.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
@aceofspadeshq I predict there will be lots of jaunty camera angles and fast cuts, to stop the kids getting bored and *literally* tuning out
— Mike McNally (@notoserfdom) March 27, 2013
@notoserfdom YES. I wish I had said that. it’s so obvious.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
Nothing — we repeat, nothing — is obvious when it comes to Pivot’s new flagship program. The host assures us the show will be “uncensored” and “real.”
You’ll be able to tell it’s a high-energy show for Young People because they’ll have a couple of additional cameras….
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
..one in black and white, another a cell-phone camera, and they’ll edit between the cameras, all at Dutch angles, abruptly.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
That’s what the Young People like, the dutch angles, the cuts between a color camera and a black and white one. That tells you it’s “real.”
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
You know, Footloose was about a town where they didn’t let young people have news.And look what happened there.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
@aceofspadeshq That scene, in the end, where they gathered in a hall to read the news aloud was, well, touching.
— NDH (@mflynny) March 27, 2013
If young people start having news, what’s next?Will they start having books?No.We must draw a line in the sand.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
I’ll tell you, I know some young people who had news at a young age, and they’re all strippers and tattoo models now.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
Young people can’t have news. Everyone who’s not a retard knows that. — Maya Angelou
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
Young people can have the news when they pry the news out of my cold, dead hands. — Fred “Mr.” Rogers
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
Tune in, turn on, have news. — 60s counter culture rallying cry, attributed to Frank Sinatra
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
if I were doing a show in which young people had news, I’d call it “The World Turned Upside Down,” I’ll tell you what.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
That or SMASH CUT, because young people like shows with names that sound vaguely show-bizzy and also like Energy Drinks.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 27, 2013
No, it’s already got a name. “Raising McCain” — ’cause her name’s McCain, get it? You’re probably too old to get it.
One time I caught the neighbor-kid having news behind my gazebo… I gave him a piece of my mind…I watched him for a little bit first.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
hey I’ve got a #MeghanMcCainShowTitle — “Adventures in Grammar”
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
@aceofspadeshq I still proudly remember the day I turned 21 and my father bought me my first newspaper
— Tom (@tomflanagin) March 28, 2013
There was a Rush album about young people having news… what a sick fantasy.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
Kennedy had a secret plan to let young people have news…See Oliver Stone’s JFK for the rest.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
“Who taught you to have this news?””YOU, Dad!I learned it by watching YOU!!!”
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
@aceofspadeshq I think Kurt Loder tried to give the kids news once. MTV responded by banning music.
— John Ekdahl, Jr. (@JohnEkdahl) March 28, 2013
I saw a dirty van in my neighborhood with “FREE NEWS” written on the side.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
One time I almost gave news to a 13-year-old… I swear I thought she was “of the age of journalism”
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
you know what the kids are into these days?”Group newscasts”
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
@aceofspadeshq I am ashamed to say that when I cleaned my child’s room I found used newspaper clippings under the mattress
— Sean Peake (@peakeman) March 28, 2013
I see this vile shit happening in our society and my eyes shake with anger timeforkids.com
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
@aceofspadeshq They’re pushing this crap in our schools now too. cnn.com/studentnews/
— John Ekdahl, Jr. (@JohnEkdahl) March 28, 2013
@johnekdahl @aceofspadeshq I remember a teacher who was a bitstrange. Led me to a secluded part of the school and showed me NY Times clips
— KBDaBear (@kbdabear) March 28, 2013
@kbdabear @johnekdahl @aceofspadeshq I had one teach me how to roll a newspaper.
— Moxie Mom (@moxiemom) March 28, 2013
@aceofspadeshq I’m getting really sick of these stories about teachers passing news around willy-nilly in school like they’re condoms.
— laura w (@laurww) March 28, 2013
you know every neighborhood has one, one of “Those Girls,” you know the ones. The ones the boys *like* and the girls hate. *Newshounds.*
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
Young girls want to have news?Fine.Start paying room & board and you can have alllll the news you like, ladies.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
@aceofspadeshq Up next, federal program to provide all forms of news to girls on demand, at no cost to themselves.
— Radish™OfWillendorf (@radishthegreat) March 28, 2013
one time a presentable young lady, who you wouldn’t think was a diseased whore at all, said she was going to put on HLN “for a quickie”
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
@aceofspadeshq if I had a $ for every time mom said when we came home to visit “there’ll be no news in here: my home, my rules. No news!”
— Em (@lamblock) March 28, 2013
“No news is good news.” — The Bible
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
I blame this all on Tabitha Soren.
— DepressiveBlogger69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) March 28, 2013
Tabitha Soren? Wasn’t she, like, the Meghan McCain of the ’80s? It doesn’t matter. The lesson is clearly this: parents, don’t let your children have news, not even from Meghan McCain. Stick to the Twitters. And to Ace of Spades HQ.
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