As much as I love not having to bundle up just to get the mail, I can’t say that I’m a fan of summer.

I have basically zero tolerance for the heat, I would rather set my own hair on fire than go to the beach, and going outside half naked and sitting in still water with strangers just isn’t my idea of a good time.

And based on this nonsense, there are quite a few animals in that boat with me. Here are 18 critters that really just can’t get down with summertime.

1. When you’re walking in the ocean and you feel those damn sand crabs.

2. “Those shorts WILL FIT this year.”

3. “Must…get…six pack…”

4. When you want to go swimming but your makeup is too on point.

5. I can’t stand in the shallow end either, buddy. I feel you.

6. LOL AIR CONDITIONING LOL

7. “Squinting so hard, can’t see my haters.”

8. You tried.

9. She couldn’t take the heat, so she got out of the kitchen.

10. When the fun hits way too hard.

11. “I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP, MOM.”

12. Person: “Do you like long walks on the beach?” Me:

13. “Hello, sir. I am in your pool. Also, I’m a moose.”

14. She almost had a great day at the beach. Almost.

15. You: “I’m just gonna lay out today.” Life:

16. This is not where bears go.

17. When you’re swimming for your life and you realize you could’ve been standing the whole time.

18. Much hose. Very drowning.

There’s more where that came from, folks. Check this out.

I don’t know about you, but I’m planning on cranking the air conditioning and pretending that I’m not actually melting into a puddle of sweaty sadness.