Virgil Goode’s accent declared winner of zany third-party debate

http://twitter.com/#!/jstrevino/status/260914723145543680

Believe it or not, debate season isn’t QUITE over yet. While Mitt Romney and Barack Obama were entering the campaign home stretch, four third-party candidates met Tuesday night in Chicago for a debate (aired by RT America and Al Jazeera English) that was moderated by the always-moderate Larry King. Contestants — er, candidates — included former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson (Libertarian), Dr. Jill Stein (Green Party), former Virginia congressman Virgil Goode (Constitution Party) and former Salt Lake City mayor Rocky Anderson (Justice Party).

In a supreme feat of irony, even this debate couldn’t avoid candidates kvetching about their non-inclusion.

I CAN conceivably win this election, UNLIKE two of the debaters tonight-Anderson/Goode. Green Party has unfairly preventing me from debating

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) October 23, 2012

Organizers of tonights Free and Equal Debates are just as Exclusionary as theCommission on Presidential Debates bit.ly/Vna0yg

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) October 23, 2012

Why did Jill Stein get arrested for not being allowed into the Presidential debates, yet prevents me from debating her? #hypocritical #AIPAC

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) October 23, 2012

Even without Roseanne, things got off to a strong start. Anderson seemed practiced in debate jiu-jitsu and knew how to change the subject. He blasted both Romney and Obama over military spending and oil — even though neither subject was part of the question.

Rocky Anderson seems legit. Uhp. No. Just got off topic… :-/ #thirdpartydebates

— Gina Luttrell (@BloggingGina) October 24, 2012

Johnson scored the first zinger.

Gary Johnson: I think candidates should have to wear NASCAR like jackets that show their sponsors. #ThirdPartyDebates

— UPI Next (@UPI_Next) October 24, 2012

At this point, the moderators realized that they forgot to allow opening statements and decided to go back for a do-over. This confused everyone, including the candidates.

DIY or die!Moderator screwup…opening statements come 2nd#thirdpartydebate

— bonnyjk (@bonnyjk) October 24, 2012

Lets close w/opening remarks! I mean lets open w/closing remarks, I mean who wants to talk now? #CSPAN2012 #ThirdPartyDebate

— Nick Hart (@NickHartInc) October 24, 2012

Jill Stein got the first not-opening statement.

Jill Stein says Americans should have a choice not bought and paid for by Wall St. #thirdpartydebate

— Rob Shock (@robshock) October 24, 2012

Anderson got another shot to show off his oratory skills:

According to Rocky Anderson, the government is “sound asleep” and also rounding up citizens. So… sleepwalking? #thirdpartydebate

— Indecision (@indecision) October 24, 2012

Then came Goode — who got little applause for his right-of-right Constitution Party pitch.

Virgil Goode: moratorium on green cards until unemployment is under five percent, end super pacs, term limits for congress.

— Jake Szetela (@jakeszetelaWFM) October 24, 2012

While the audience may not have been fond of him, Twitter was. Goode’s thick Virginia drawl lit a tweetstorm that seemed to drive more traffic than any issue mentioned.

CAN EVERYONE PLEASE TUNE INTO THE THIRD PARTY DEBATE TO HEAR VIRGIL GOODE’S ACCENT

— (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ merk ✧ (@DatSupermerk) October 24, 2012

That distinctive accent of Virgil Goode’s? It’s called a “Tidewater accent”: aje.me/RUvr8x #NowThatsADebate #election2012

— AJELive (@AJELive) October 24, 2012

¿Dónde habrá estacionado Virgil Goode su caballo? ¡Qué gran acento! #NowThatsADebate

— Ricardo Avelar (@docAvelar) October 24, 2012

Johnson had the crowd on his side and was beating the drums on his main issues.

“Let’s end the drug wars; legalize marijuana now; let’s repeal the Patriot Act.” – Gary Johnson on.rt.com/gg3v77

— RT America (@RT_America) October 24, 2012

Goode won the First to Get Booed award.

lmao, Virgil Goode is getting booed. He supports the war on drugs, wants to cut planned parenthood.

— tinybaby (@tinybaby) October 24, 2012

Johnson fired back by claiming that marijuana is less dangerous than alcohol — based on personal experience with both.

“I am not a hypocrite on this issue. I have drank alcohol, I have smoked marijuana.” – Gary Johnson just now in this debate

— Amanda Lucci (@alucci) October 24, 2012

Nobody on stage was pro-drone. In fact, the isolationism was so strong among all of them that Moderator King was displeased.

Larry is getting irritated that the candidates agree with each other so much. #ThirdPartyDebate

— Reggie Peralta (@Regssarian) October 24, 2012

All four also came out against the National Defense Authorization Act.

#NowThatsADebate #thirdpartydebate Even Virgil Goode wouldn’t have signed NDAA!

— Kris Smoot (@THE_Smoot) October 24, 2012

Four out of four #thirdpartydebate candidates would — unlike Obama and Romney — end #NDAA indefinite detention of Americans. #StopNDAA

— Declan McCullagh (@declanm) October 24, 2012

On college tuition, however, there was no such agreement.

Jill Stein: It’s time to make higher public education free, as it should be. #thirdpartydebate

— CompareMyCandidates (@mycandidates) October 24, 2012

Gary Johnson points out distortion of tuition prices through government backed student loans. Jill Stein as Dr. Seuss. #Nowthatsadebate

— Gerard Perry (@OddLane) October 24, 2012

Virgil Goode: I’m not gonna tell you what you want to hear, but I’ll give it to you straight: WE CANT AFFORD FREE TUITION.

— aimee m. cooper (@aimeemcooper) October 24, 2012

The evening finished off with a question about how each would amend the constitution.

Rocky Anderson would write an “equal rights amendment” guaranteeing rights for all sexual orientations. #thirdpartydebate

— Rob Shock (@robshock) October 24, 2012

Surprised Virgil Goode’s proposed amendment is “term limits”, not “balanced budget.” #ThirdPartyDebate #hashtag

— ¡Häshtäg! (@HeAintReally) October 24, 2012

Gary Johnson’s constitutional amendment would be also term limits. #thirdpartydebate

— Rob Shock (@robshock) October 24, 2012

Jill Stein wants to overturn Citizens United. #debate Corporations have stolen our right of personhood, she says.

— Sean McMillan (@McMillanSean) October 24, 2012

And with that, the madness mercifully came to an end. Who won? Well, Anderson and Johnson may have been the best speakers — but Goode was the one trending on Twitter.

Virgil Goode just spoke about himself in the third person, in a third party, and that is funny to me right now. #nowthatsadebate

— Erin Faulk (@erinscafe) October 24, 2012

Virgil Goode cant even pronounce his own name #thirdpartydebate

— Randy Hauser (@RandyHauser) October 24, 2012

Virgil Goode is trending and all I can think of is THE most crazy fat accent i’ve ever heard

— Joseph Speth (@JSpeth18) October 24, 2012

Virgil Goode Is Country As Fuck. No U Can’t Be Prez…..

— Charles Manson (@Sleepy_Duz_It) October 24, 2012

“The person who asked a question on the internet is not gonna like it.” – Simple Country Hyper-Chicken Virgil Goode #ThirdPartyDebate

— ʝoεɭ ɱҁʗoү סןסץ (@BooDooPerson) October 24, 2012

Virgil Goode is a straight up country guy lol

— Cheeto (@Panchito_Pancha) October 24, 2012

The prize: A jug of moonshine. RT @bdomenech: Virgil Goode’s accent won the #thirdpartydebate.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 24, 2012

The secret to being a winning third-party candidate: Have a Goode accent.

And there may be another chance to hear it!

Good news! There will be another third party presidential debate next week in D.C. Top two candidates from this evening http://t.co/OaO3RoYh

— Declan McCullagh (@declanm) October 24, 2012

Vote now, y’all!

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/10/24/virgil-goodes-accent-declared-winner-of-zany-third-party-debate/

Comments are closed.