28 Truths No One Tells You About Being A Bridesmaid

1. Sometimes brides will ask you to be part of their wedding, and then sometimes they’ll up their damn game and GIVE YOU A GIFT.

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Either way, it will be extremely exciting, and even if you’re cynical, it’s always an honor to be asked.

2. But once you accept, you’ll be inundated with emails and texts about planning the bachelorette party, bridal shower, and actual wedding.

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It never ends.

3. The bridal shower is really just an excuse to day drink and watch someone open lingerie gifts.

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It’s kinda awkward, but also pretty hilarious, especially if there’s family present.

4. Planning any events where all of the bridesmaids have to be together is like wrangling cats, and you should ask the bride for help if needed.

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Especially when you need to convince one of the more flaky gals to commit.

5. You’re going to see the bride’s naughty bits at some point.

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Maybe you’re in the room when she’s shopping for wedding dresses and you have to help her change into things, or it’s on the day of the wedding when she has to strip down while all of the bridesmaids help shove her into the dress… Either way, you’ll see a whole new side of the bride.

6. Buy a pack of bobby pins, because either you or some other bridesmaid will need them on the day of the wedding.

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Updos ain’t easy, y’all!

7. No matter how hard the bride tries to pick something pretty or tasteful, you’ll never wear this dress again.

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Sorry!

8. But matching the other girls in the party does make you feel oddly ~special~.

You were ONE OF THE CHOSEN friends. Own that shit.

9. Oh, and you will pay just as much to get your bridesmaid dress altered as you did to buy it.

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I’m sorry, WHY is it costing me over $100 just to take the hem up? HOW?!

10. If the dress is super formfitting, you will have to watch what you eat before the wedding, or wear summa these.

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If you’re like me and you like eating, Spanx are your BFF.

11. You will have to attend a lot of parties, and at some point you will start to wonder why there are so damn many of them.

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Engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette, rehearsal dinner, and wedding… at a minimum.

12. You will discover an entire world of bachelorette party planning you never knew existed.

So, you’re telling me there are people on Etsy who sell KITS for bachelorette parties?! Oh my stars…

13. Being a bridesmaid means you’re also unofficially part of the decorations committee.

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For parties, the wedding, and anything else the bride needs.

14. You will fight with one of the bridesmaids about the decorations at some point during this process.

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Because there are simultaneously never enough peen decorations and way too much of them.

15. And you’ll probably be asked to DIY something, even if you’ve never done that before.

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Get a Pinterest page, and start PINNING THAT SHIT.

16. If the bride wants a themed party, that means you’re going to spend way more money than you anticipated on things like matching tees, hats, and party gear.

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And you’ll never use those things again either… Life is hard.

17. The wedding day will start EARLY, because you’ll have to be hair- and makeup-ready by noon to take photos.

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Even if the wedding starts at 5, doesn’t matter why.

18. The shoes you (or the bride) end up choosing can be a decision between life and falling on your fucking face.

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Pro tip: Ask the bride what kind of a surface you’ll be walking on when it comes time to pick the shoes.

19. The person you walk down the aisle with is not always a perfect match, and you’re just gonna have to deal.

What really matters is that you both don’t trip.

20. Not having a date to the wedding when you’re a bridesmaid means that your unofficial date is alcohol.

You need SOMEONE there for moral support, and whiskey always listens…

21. Something WILL go wrong on the day of the wedding. Just accept that.

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A heel breaks, or maybe your hair person cancels at the last minute: The most important thing is that the bride is getting married, so remind her of that.

22. And because things inevitably go wrong, even the most low-maintenance brides will have a bridezilla moment.

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Just try to keep them calm and carry the fuck on.

23. The wedding day is HARD WORK, like a job, and you’ll be asked to do weird shit.

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DON’T LET THE DRESS TOUCH THE GROUND OR ELSE!

24. Like, you may have to help the bride pee during the wedding by holding up her dress while she squats.

Because wedding dresses are only built for posing in, not peeing in!

25. Your face will actually hurt from smiling for so many photos, and you’ll need to take a time-out.

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